More Crazy Things I've Heard...

*Lizzy, can you feed me grapes like a princess? (Mallory)

*Mom! A Jesus clock! Can I please get it for my birthday?! Then I can see Him all the time! (Mallory)

*When I grow up, I'm going to be a cop so I can pull people over and say, "April Fool's!" (Ross)

*Mallory: Do you know what I want to be when I grow up?

Me: I don't know.

Mallory: A big giant meerkat. Do you know who I will marry?

Me: Um... Barney.

Mallory: No, Silly! Another meerkat.

*Doesn't my mouth sound like I have sand in it? (Mallory)

*My heart just breaks for hobos. Whenever I see them I feel guilty because I have a lot of things, and all they have is a box to live in. (Elizabeth)

*You can corndog your friends, but you can't corndog your family. (Edward)

Alien Encounters

While travelling one day last week, Mallory and I had this conversation:

Mallory: Do we have to be nice to mean aliens?

Me: Well, no.

Mallory: They were wrong then in Primary (children's Sunday school at our church). They said we had to be nice to everyone.

Well, Mallory... you have my permission to not befriend aliens. :)

This Week's Crazy Things...

*Can I do my hair in corn rows some time? (Mallory)

*I don't like it when you sing low. It sounds like you're a woman pretending to be a man. (Elizabeth)

*But, Mom. If I just itch my nose, boogers will come out. (Mallory)

*I counted 89 dead-fish trees (blooming Bradford Pears) on my way to PAGES today. (Elizabeth)

*-Are you losing your voice, Mom? (Ross)

-Sounds like it. (Me)

-But if you lose your voice than you die! (Mallory)

3 Months

*Little Lady is three months old and such a delight. She truly makes our home a happy one.

*Within the last month she has started taking a paci like a champ (Woot! Woot!). She came through for me in the knick of time. She will be taking her first airplane ride next week, and I really needed to be able to plug her up quickly for my sanity! Thanks, Lucy!

*She has also started sucking her thumb. I think it's darling. I don't have a preference of thumb or paci - both have their pros and cons. As long as she has some way to calm herself, I'm a happy mommy.

*I think she is going to have curly hair. It's super curly on top when she gets out of the bathtub. She usually has a crazy curl on top. Love it.

*And she is a smiley little thing, especially when her momma is around.

Enjoy!

Indoor Pool - More Fun With Water

Something about a 70 degree day after a cold and snowy winter makes the kids want to break out the slip 'n slide and swimsuits. Mean ol' mom always crushes their dreams. Drew decided to bring the fun inside, choosing to be obedient by not creating a water world outdoors.

We recently purchased a new tv. The ginormous box has been taking up space in our living room as a make shift fort/cave/play house. Every kid loves a big empty box. I didn't even notice that the box disappeared out of the living room. I know, I'm just observant like that.

Last night when Edward got home from work, he found the box upstairs in the kids bathroom - filled with water. Drew decided to make an indoor pool. I don't know how long it had been filled with water. It was not long enough to cause a flood (thank heavens), but it was just long enough to make the box nice and soggy - thus ending its fort/cave/playhouse days.

I guess the bright side is there won't be a ginormous box sitting in my living room anymore!

Good One, Drew

I walked into the kitchen tonight to find Drew and Mallory standing in chairs pulled up to the sink. Water was EVERY WHERE, and Drew was holding the sprayer in his hand. I demanded, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!" Drew replied, "Muscle spasm."

I had to give it to him. That was a pretty good response! After five children, I've certainly never heard that one before.

More Crazy Things I've Heard This Week

-Mom! That scares me when you put that on! Don't look at me! (Mallory, said to me while applying my under eye concealer)

-Any men you see on t.v. are wearing make-up, and it's totally legal. (Elizabeth)
-Unless it's HD.... Even football players. (Drew)

-Mallory, wait a minute.(Edward) I can't! I don't have any horsies! (Mallory, as in "hold your horses")

-I want to be a humanitarian when I grow up and help kids from the streets find homes. It breaks my heart to see hobos. (Elizabeth)

-Please bless Daddy so he won't get fired. (Mallory, said during family prayer)

These are the things I heard while the kids were watching King Kong:

-Monkeys are really talented. (Drew) Well, the DO have imposable thumbs. (Elizabeth)

-I think he's gonna eat her and poop her out then fall in love with her 'cause she'll look all ugly. (Mallory)

Piano Man

We are mean parents that make our kids take piano lessons. They don't really enjoy them. That's a shame.

This is Drew's piano book. It was mine when I was a child, hence the tattered cover. Drew made his feelings known about the piano.

Let's take a closer look:
"Noo (That would be NOOOOOOO!)
This is poopey"

This Week's Crazy Things

-I wish I had matching gloves. My gloves are blue, but my shorts are red. (Mallory, said while playing wii boxing)

-Me: "I love you, honey!" Mallory: "I'm not your honey! Daddy is your honey. I am your daughter. Daughters are called daughters, and sons are called sons!"

-I'm going to take this little rock home and plant it and grow a big tree. (Mallory)

-Mom, can I listen to some smooth jazz? (Drew)

-That's for a fat girl. (Mallory, said while clothes shopping)

The following things were said while Elizabeth and Mallory enlisted Edward's help to put on a play at my parents' house.

-Grammy, do you have anything that looks like throw-up? (Elizabeth, said while gathering props)

-Our play is called, The Englishman and His Two Daughters That Made Him Floss His Toes. (Elizabeth)

-It's my mustache, can't you tell? It's made out of paper and tape! (Edward)

-But I don't know how to floss his toes. (Mallory)

Two Months

Sweet cheeks is 2 months old! She is 12 lbs. 5 oz. and 22 1/4 inches long.

Growing like a weed!

Crazy Things I Heard This Week

-Are all drunk people fat? (Drew)


-Who are your grand kids, Mommy? (Mallory)


-Mommy, why are you eating barf!?! (Mallory {And I wasn't. It was spinach and artichoke hummus.})


-Hey, Ross. You know that time we had country fried steak at school? Well, it was just a hamburger with a couple of crumbs on it. (My nephew, Harrison)


-Said during a prayer, "...and thank you for Ross. And thank you for Elizabeth. And thank you for Drew. And thank you for me because I'm the goodest kid...." (Mallory)


-You don't have to cry about it, Lucy. (Drew)


-Maybe a hobo snuck in and stole all the water. (Elizabeth)


-Your baby has a very nice chin. (Nurse)


-Look who it is, Lucy! It's me, Mallory - your favorite person! (Mallory)



I'm glad Mallory has such high self-esteem.

Lucy's Blessing

The first weekend of February was a happy one for our family. Baby Lucy was blessed at church, and we had a houseful of family and friends to help us celebrate.

Lucy's beautiful blessing gown was made by a friend from church. This is the same friend that made Mallory's blessing gown.

Four of Edward's siblings and their families as well as his mom and step-father made the trip to celebrate this special occasion with us. Saturday night we had 29 people sleeping at our house. The 19 cousins that were here had a great time catching up with each other.

Sweet Lauren meeting Lucy

Four of the five cousins born in 2010

Rex, Ruby, Lucy, and Emme

#2 and #4

Caroline and Ross

Mallory and her Ellie

Rex couldn't help but chew on Lucy.

Some of the boys talking Pokemon

Lucy, Jani, and Papa Otto

Lucy puts their combined grandchild count somewhere in the 30s. I have lost track.

Papa Otto and Mallory

This is the group shot of our family and friends that came to Lucy's blessing, minus my grandma and a few aunts and uncles. Big families are the best!

A Second Installment of Crazy Things Are Spoken Here

Here are the crazy things that have been said at our house this week.

Because I love the taste of wood glue.

Can I go to a real barber? 'Cause you're not a professor of hairtology.

"But Mom, I'm not going to remember." "Son, I promise I will remember." "But old people forget a lot."

Mmmm. This bacon tastes really good. Like it's from a fancy hotel - not one of those cockroach hotels. And I've been to a cockroach hotel.

How can you tell if someone's been sleeping in your bed? (Asked after being told the story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears.)

Is this where Jesus was born? (Asked during a funeral at a Catholic church.)

Mallory, you just got schooled by our thirty-five year old dad. And their brains don't even work that well.

Jews can't have meat on Fridays.

It's always exciting around here.

Light As A Feather. Stiff As A Board.

After discovering Mallory's amazing feats of flexibility, we've now learned that baby Lucy has an incredible talent as well. When you hold her in the air, she extends her legs straight behind her.

I see a future in the circus!

Crazy Things Are Spoken Here

These are just a few of the wacky things I've heard around the house this week:

-Do you like my toe people?
-Stop touching his underwear! Do you want to buy him new underwear?
-"Bless you" me, Mom.
-Do monsters not like toots?
-This tastes like a zebra.
-At least snot didn't come out!
-I really hope that's chocolate.
-Mom, Mallory cut her pants.
-You're small, but you're densely compacted.
-Mom, you're weird. Lizzy gets the weird from you.
-You are crinkly.
-I can't wait to go through puberty! (One guess as to which kid said that.)

Once again, this place is a zoo.

7

Happy birthday, to our funny little man!

Cute As A Button

I received this package in the mail today. I don't know who sent them for Lucy, but they are darling! If you are responsible, please come forward so I can thank you properly!

1 Month Old

Getting help with a smile from big sister

Fluffy McChubbers went from 7 lbs. 11 oz. at birth to 10 lbs. 8 oz. in her first four weeks. She is now in the 75th percentile in weight and height (She's now 22 inches.).

Look Natural

They Were Only Out Of My Sight For 10 Minutes

Newborn babies require a lot of attention. Newborn babies like to eat. A lot. Frequently.

This afternoon, I suggested that Edward lay down for a nap. He has been Super Dad these last few weeks since Lucy's arrival. I take that back. He has been Super Dad the whole pregnancy, picking up what I have had to neglect due to nausea, fatigue, and, frankly, lack of mobility. He was deserving of a nap and a whole lot more. While he holed up in a corner bedroom, the kids were asked to play quietly, and I went into my bedroom to nurse Lucy for the 357th time today (because newborn babies like to eat. A lot. Frequently.).

When I came downstairs, Elizabeth yelled to me from the living room, "Mom! We have a surprise for you. But wait just a minute. I'm almost finished.... Don't come in yet.... I'm not done.... Okay! Now you can come in!"

I was hoping for a meticulously cleaned living room, not this:

Elizabeth decided to turn Mallory into a meerkat. When that proved too hard, it was decided that she was a raccoon instead. Despite the facial expression, Mallory really was a willing participant.

I immediately told the girls to wash the make-up off before it ruined Mallory's sweater or got on the furniture. This was the sad result of their attempt:

Nice work, Ladies. Sweet little Mallory had been transformed into The Joker.

Thankfully Daddy and eight pounds of Vaseline restored Mallory's face to its original cuteness.