Right, Dear?

Mouse Hunt

To get ready for a yard sale, I spent every waking hour this week (that I wasn't nursing or fixing meals) down in the basement going through our junk. Unfortunately I discovered evidence that a mouse was residing there. I picked up some mousetraps and prepared them late one night.

Man! Those suckers hurt! I REPEATEDLY snapped my thumbs trying to set the traps. I felt like I was in a Tom and Jerry episode!

I ended up bruising my right thumb...
...and my left.

I'm not the type of woman that flips out when I see mice, snakes, or bugs, but I have to admit I was a little nervous walking downstairs the next morning to see if the traps had been sprung. And one of them was. Ick!

Elizabeth was away at a tennis clinic that morning, but you'd better believe the other kids were right there watching me dispose of the little vermin. When Elizabeth got home I told her about the mouse and asked her if she wanted to see it. She did, but she told me to wait a minute. She ran up to her room for a while. When she finally came downstairs I led her to the garbage can outside and showed her the mouse. She felt sorry for the little critter and then dropped something on top of the mouse.

While in her room she quickly crafted a little tombstone for the mouse that read:

R.I.P.

Fred the Mouse

Born: Sometime

Died: June 9, 2011

Rest in Peace, Little Fred!

A Cracked Windshield And An Interrogation

One evening last week as I drove to Ross's 468th baseball game of the season I heard a mysterious crackling noise that sounded like glass breaking. After a quick scan of the windshield, I found it to be in one piece. I asked, "What was THAT?!" Elizabeth said it was Ross's water bottle, so I figured she was correct. She was not. After the ball game, I got back in the van and saw a four inch crack at the bottom of the windshield. Fantastic.


Luckily I know a pretty great insurance agent who called in a report as soon as we got home. Usually the glass company we use comes down to us from St. Louis. I had to take Ross to his endocrinologist the next day in St. Louis, so I set up an appointment for the crack to be patched while we were in the city. We got out of our endo appointment earlier than usual, so I headed over to the glass company to see if they could get us in earlier. They couldn't. We had to leave and come back two hours later. In those two hours the crack spread. And spread. And spread. Beyond repair. We now had to have the windshield replaced. Since Ross and I were on a tight schedule (because we had to get back for his 469th baseball game) I told the glass company I would need them to come to our house the next day to replace it.


The service technician arrived at our house the next day, and of course the kids wanted to watch.

All started out well enough. Then came lots of questions from Elizabeth (ever the student) to the nice glass man. "Is that black stuff glue?" "Is that a big screw driver?" "Can I have the old windshield?" Wanting to join in on the questioning, Mallory thought of her own questions to ask: "Is that that you're standing in, grass?" followed by, "Do you want to see a dead mouse?" Thankfully this man was a grandpa and simply smiled.

The kids began to grow weary of watching the van get repaired. The girls decided to trade shoes. Mallory tried on Elizabeth's sneakers, and Elizabeth paraded around in Mallory's dress-up shoes. She was looking good.

Next the boys got out the basketball. After narrowly missing the stand that held the new windshield, I thought it best for Mr. Glassman's sanity and mine to send everyone inside.

I'm sure Mr. Glassman appreciated the peace and quiet while working in our van - that is until Mallory got a hold of my keys and hit the Panic button. I'm sure that man nearly soiled himself.

Crazy Things Heard This Week

*My pinkie toe looks like it's pregnant. I'm going to call it Junior. (Elizabeth)

*Ugh. My hands are all soft now. I'm a boy. They're suppose to be rough. (Drew, after being asked to put lotion on Lucy.)

*She's cute and small. Cute is the new small. (Drew)

*Can I pet your baby? (random little girl at ballpark)

*California is a very dangerous place. (Mallory)

*Well at least I didn't hurt this finger. This one is my favorite. (Drew, said {seriously} after smashing his finger.)

*Me: You need to wipe your snotty nose, buddy.
Andrew (2 year-old nephew): No, I lick it.

Crazy Things Heard This Week

*Mommy, I think I'm turning into a vampire because these teeth (canines) keep growing longer. (Mallory)

*Do black people get tans? (Ross)

*I can just see the headlines now: Mormon Boy Goes To Jail For Stealing Water Bottle (Ross, said after nearly forgetting to pay for an item at the store)

*Mallory: Can I call you "Grandma?"
Me: Why?
Mallory: Because you look older than your age.

*It looks like I have a tooth growing in my fingernail. (Mallory, looking at a white spot on her nail.)

Got (Soy) Milk?

My parents and brother, Aaron, just returned from Germany where they attended the wedding of my German sister. Grammy and Grandad spoiled the kids with some souvenirs upon their return. Grandad picked out Big Sister Dora especially for Mallory.

Dora's baby brother and sister didn't come with names, so Drew decided to name them.

Introducing Lactose and Intolerant:

Why I Shouldn't Sleep In This Summer

When I do, I find scenarios like this:

3 Thoughts on Sunday

Today at church I noticed a few things.

1. I suppose I need to keep one eye open during all prayers. That's when sneaky naughtiness takes place.

2. Lucy will belly laugh if someone sneezes during a prayer.

3. I'm so thankful our bishop can laugh about armpit toots.

5 Months

Lucy turned five months old this week. As always, she is such a delight. Fat and happy! She is pleasant and just rolls with the punches. She has discovered her meaty little feet. She is trying to sit up on her own, but she still hasn't rolled over. Frankly, I think she hasn't rolled over yet because she is always being held. But it's hardly our faults! We just can't resist cuddling and hugging and smooching her!

Crazy Things I've Heard This Week

*Drew: You must have lice. (Being a pesky big brother.)
Mallory: Yes, I do have lifes.

*My pinkie toes look like they're pregnant. (Elizabeth)

*Are germs bigger than dinosaur poop? (Mallory)

*She must need her own MySpace. (Harrison, my nephew, said when Lucy was fussing because all the kids were getting in her face.)

*Is 5 a popular number? (Drew)

*Lucy is so bulgy. At least I didn't say fat. (Drew)

*And Dad isn't brave? (Drew, said while I was explaining Memorial Day and all of the brave men and women that serve our country)

*Do major league short stops or little league catchers sweat more? (Drew)

Kewpie Girl

Often Lucy has a lone curl on the top of her sweet head. It always makes me think of a Kewpie doll.

Crazy Things Heard I've This Week

*Yep, it's definitely a blowout. The poop is stacked twice as high as the diaper. (Drew)


*Mommy, I just threw up a little in my mouth. Can I please have something to drink to wash it down? (Mallory)


*Is there such a thing as hand jam or finger jam? Like would I get it after I massaged a foot? (Mallory - seriously pondering the equivalent of toe jam)


*{Coming down the stairs rubbing his chin} "Ugh. I hardly got any sleep last night. I feel like I have whiskers this morning." (Drew)

*I hate how sneezes taste. (Mary Catherine - my niece)

*Mallory: Mommy, speed! Speed! Speed!
Me: I can't. There is a police officer right there, and I would get a ticket.
Mallory: I would kind of like to see you take that ticket.

Little Miss Muffet

Little Miss Muffet

Sat on a tuffet,

Eating her curds and whey;
Along came a spider,
And sat down beside her
And frightened Miss Muffet away.

At preschool, Mallory was asked to choose a Nursery Rhyme character to represent. I think she made an awfully cute Little Miss Muffet!

Crazy Things Heard (And Said) This Week

*Lucy, you have elephantitis. (Drew, said while looking at Lucy's chunky legs)

*I can't swim or else I would drain. (Mallory's little friend)

*Can I please wash my hands?!?! There was a dead snake, but I didn't touch it. (Drew - I think he was fibbing.)

*I really need Hanes panties. They don't give you wedgies. (Mallory - said after watching an underwear commercial that made the claim that their undies didn't ride up.)

*Mom, do you ever try to say something no one else in history has ever said? Like, "Mr. Feldmore, I'm wet. Please bring me the ocean." (Elizabeth)

*I have strong bowels. (Anonymous)

*I am an underwear gypsy. (Elizabeth)

*Who put tape on Lucy's face? (Me)

*I wish there was a wrestler named The Ear Pincher. (Drew)

*That was a long time ago... before I was responsible. (Drew, when presented with an inappropriate drawing he made)

*Mallory: Mommy, Mommy, Mommy!
Me: Hang on a sec.
Mallory: I don't have any hang ons. I only have horsies to hold.

Crazy Things Heard This Week

*I can't bear to watch this. (Mallory - covered her eyes and muttered under her breath while watching a kissing scene on Tangled)



*My name would be Erizabeth in Chinese. (Elizabeth)





*This dance move is called "Junk Arms." (Drew)





*There he is! Oh, wait. That's a woman. (Elizabeth)




*Mallory: This sucker tastes like beer.
Me: Do you mean root beer?
Mallory: No, I mean beer.
Me: Well, Honey, we aren't suppose to drink beer, so I don't really think you would even know what it tastes like.
Mallory: (Extremely offended) Yes I do because I am so smart!

Why We Never Have Decent Family Pictures

In a family of seven, it's hard to get a picture where everyone is looking good at the same time. Drew, a.k.a. Jerry Lewis, never helps our cause. Keep in mind, I usually set up the self-timer so I don't see his shenanigans until after the photos are taken. These are some of the images I find:

The Stone Face


Wiggle Worm

The Purple Nurple

The Fonz

The Elvis

The Karate Kid

Tiny Eyes

The Mentally Challenged Child

No Teeth

Again, Mentally Disabled

Mentally Disabled - Yet Again

Tough Guy

The Bulldog

Making Pootie Noises

Again. Disabled.

The Over Smile

The Fake Smile

Closed Eyes

The Tilted Head Over Smile

The Smirk

The Gopher

Apathy

Thank you, Drew, for making our family photos memorable.

Fantastic at Four

Four years ago this little bundle of joy joined our family. Mallory has been a blessing from the second we saw her! She is possibly even sweeter than she looks. If all kids were as pleasant, obedient, funny, and kind as her, I might just give Michelle Duggar a run for her money.

Mallory - 1 day old

2 months old

3 months old

1 year old

2 years old

3 years old

4 years old

We celebrated by having a combined birthday party with Aunt Annie on Easter day. On her actual birthday on Monday, the kids were off school and Edward was off of work. We spent the day in St. Louis at Krispy Kreme, The Magic House, and Golden Corral - all requests of the birthday girl.

Elizabeth was sweet enough to give her one of her favorite porcelain dolls. I think "Emma" might be Mallory's favorite gift. She hasn't left her arms much this week.

Mallory got a few more toys, books, and outfits. She also got a new bike. She was so cute when she got it! Unfortunately due to all of the rain we've received, she has only been able to ride it indoors.

Happy birthday, Sweet Girl!