Monday, May 9, 2011

Crazy Things Heard (And Said) This Week

*Lucy, you have elephantitis. (Drew, said while looking at Lucy's chunky legs)

*I can't swim or else I would drain. (Mallory's little friend)

*Can I please wash my hands?!?! There was a dead snake, but I didn't touch it. (Drew - I think he was fibbing.)

*I really need Hanes panties. They don't give you wedgies. (Mallory - said after watching an underwear commercial that made the claim that their undies didn't ride up.)

*Mom, do you ever try to say something no one else in history has ever said? Like, "Mr. Feldmore, I'm wet. Please bring me the ocean." (Elizabeth)

*I have strong bowels. (Anonymous)

*I am an underwear gypsy. (Elizabeth)

*Who put tape on Lucy's face? (Me)

*I wish there was a wrestler named The Ear Pincher. (Drew)

*That was a long time ago... before I was responsible. (Drew, when presented with an inappropriate drawing he made)

*Mallory: Mommy, Mommy, Mommy!
Me: Hang on a sec.
Mallory: I don't have any hang ons. I only have horsies to hold.