Crazy Things Heard This Week

*Mommy, I think I'm turning into a vampire because these teeth (canines) keep growing longer. (Mallory)

*Do black people get tans? (Ross)

*I can just see the headlines now: Mormon Boy Goes To Jail For Stealing Water Bottle (Ross, said after nearly forgetting to pay for an item at the store)

*Mallory: Can I call you "Grandma?"
Me: Why?
Mallory: Because you look older than your age.

*It looks like I have a tooth growing in my fingernail. (Mallory, looking at a white spot on her nail.)