Lucy turned five months old this week. As always, she is such a delight. Fat and happy! She is pleasant and just rolls with the punches. She has discovered her meaty little feet. She is trying to sit up on her own, but she still hasn't rolled over. Frankly, I think she hasn't rolled over yet because she is always being held. But it's hardly our faults! We just can't resist cuddling and hugging and smooching her!*Drew: You must have lice. (Being a pesky big brother.)
Mallory: Yes, I do have lifes.
*My pinkie toes look like they're pregnant. (Elizabeth)
*Are germs bigger than dinosaur poop? (Mallory)
*She must need her own MySpace. (Harrison, my nephew, said when Lucy was fussing because all the kids were getting in her face.)
*Is 5 a popular number? (Drew)
*Lucy is so bulgy. At least I didn't say fat. (Drew)
*And Dad isn't brave? (Drew, said while I was explaining Memorial Day and all of the brave men and women that serve our country)
*Do major league short stops or little league catchers sweat more? (Drew)
*Yep, it's definitely a blowout. The poop is stacked twice as high as the diaper. (Drew)
*Mommy, I just threw up a little in my mouth. Can I please have something to drink to wash it down? (Mallory)
*Is there such a thing as hand jam or finger jam? Like would I get it after I massaged a foot? (Mallory - seriously pondering the equivalent of toe jam)
*{Coming down the stairs rubbing his chin} "Ugh. I hardly got any sleep last night. I feel like I have whiskers this morning." (Drew)
*I hate how sneezes taste. (Mary Catherine - my niece)
*Mallory: Mommy, speed! Speed! Speed!
Me: I can't. There is a police officer right there, and I would get a ticket.
Mallory: I would kind of like to see you take that ticket.
Little Miss Muffet
Sat on a tuffet,
Along came a spider,
*Lucy, you have elephantitis. (Drew, said while looking at Lucy's chunky legs)
*I can't swim or else I would drain. (Mallory's little friend)
*Can I please wash my hands?!?! There was a dead snake, but I didn't touch it. (Drew - I think he was fibbing.)
*I really need Hanes panties. They don't give you wedgies. (Mallory - said after watching an underwear commercial that made the claim that their undies didn't ride up.)
*Mom, do you ever try to say something no one else in history has ever said? Like, "Mr. Feldmore, I'm wet. Please bring me the ocean." (Elizabeth)
*I have strong bowels. (Anonymous)
*I am an underwear gypsy. (Elizabeth)*I can't bear to watch this. (Mallory - covered her eyes and muttered under her breath while watching a kissing scene on Tangled)
*My name would be Erizabeth in Chinese. (Elizabeth)
*This dance move is called "Junk Arms." (Drew)
*There he is! Oh, wait. That's a woman. (Elizabeth)
*Mallory: This sucker tastes like beer.
Me: Do you mean root beer?
Mallory: No, I mean beer.
Me: Well, Honey, we aren't suppose to drink beer, so I don't really think you would even know what it tastes like.
Mallory: (Extremely offended) Yes I do because I am so smart!
In a family of seven, it's hard to get a picture where everyone is looking good at the same time. Drew, a.k.a. Jerry Lewis, never helps our cause. Keep in mind, I usually set up the self-timer so I don't see his shenanigans until after the photos are taken. These are some of the images I find:
The Stone Face
Wiggle Worm
The Purple Nurple
The Fonz
The Elvis
The Karate Kid
Tiny Eyes
The Mentally Challenged Child
No Teeth
Again, Mentally Disabled
Mentally Disabled - Yet Again
Tough Guy
The Bulldog
Making Pootie Noises
Again. Disabled.
The Over Smile
The Fake Smile
Closed Eyes
The Tilted Head Over Smile
The Smirk
The Gopher
Apathy
Mallory - 1 day old
2 months old
3 months old
1 year old
2 years old
3 years old 
4 years old 
Mallory got a few more toys, books, and outfits. She also got a new bike. She was so cute when she got it! Unfortunately due to all of the rain we've received, she has only been able to ride it indoors.
Happy birthday, Sweet Girl!
