Crazy Things I've Heard This Week

*Mom doesn't like messes. I know. I've been here five years.  (Mallory instructing Lucy on life)

*I don't care if somebody's hands been in it. It still good. (Lady at Golden Corral, upon learning the chocolate fountain was shut down due to someone sticking his finger in the chocolate.  Verbatum.)

*What?!  I gave candy to a sick person, and I don't get a treat?!  (Mallory)

*Do you know how I get pee all over the place sometimes?  I try to do tricks. Sometimes I stand back far and try to aim into the toilet, and sometimes I stand on the seat. (Drew, after being told once again to clean up after himself in the bathroom)

*Sorry that I'm good, but I don't like this talent. (Drew, complaining about piano lessons.  I tried to tell him he is very good.)