Sunday, November 15, 2009

Close Encounters of the Furry Kind

Alright, this is a good one.

Let me start off by saying I don't usually get too upset when I see bugs, reptiles, or even small critters. I don't run away screaming. In fact, I get onto Elizabeth if she acts too "girly" around bugs and insects. That's not the kind of women we are.

However, I can see where some women (and, frankly, some men.... You know who you are.) feel a wee bit paniced at the sight of bugs and vermen after two encounters this week.

I LOVE to thrift shop. It's a thrill for me to get something ugly for just a bit of spare change and make it beautiful. I frequent the clean thrift stores frequently. Some of the, shall we say, grosser ones don't get my business as often. I was looking for some cheapy glass ornaments that I could spray paint to make a wreath, so I went to a particular thrift store where I knew I could find some for about $.25 a box. Let's just say this place is a little on the dirty side. After finding what I needed, I flipped through a few clothes racks on my way out. I was flipping through a skirt rack, when out of the corner of my eye I noticed a leaf (or so I thought) on a skirt. Just as I started to slide the hanger over, that "leaf" scurried up the skirt! It was a mouse. A very much alive mouse! Eek. I didn't scream, but boy did I freeze in my tracks. I certainly wasn't expecting THAT! I asked a frozen Mallory if she wanted me to move the skirt so she could see the mouse, and she quite confidently told me she didn't. I then went to check out. When I was finished, I told the saleswoman, "Oh, and you might be interested to know there is a mouse in your skirt display." She didn't seem like she was a lady that liked mice very much. I wished her luck on that one, and headed out to my (clean) van.

Now, on to encounter #2 - the same week! We were met by a welcome committee when we returned home from church today. Who was there to greet us upon arrival, you ask? A. Full. Grown. SQUIRREL. Holy cow!!!!!

Everyone went into the house while I was still in the van piling things in my arms to carry into the house. I heard Ross say, "A squirrell! And it's dead!" Guess what? No it wasn't! It was very much alive indeed, just perched upon my curtain rod. It's head was making those rapid and rigid movements as it checked us out checking it out.

Some will wonder how it got into our house. Let me explain. When we moved in, our house had a wood stove. After much consideration, we felt like with very little children we needed to have it removed for safety reasons. In the living room, I capped the metal piping (what is it called, anyway?) with a plastic lid. I have never climbed onto the roof to cap it off up there. So that poor little thing had to have been so scared when he tried to climb on the roof and fell two stories through my obviously non-squirrell-proofed chimney.

Back to the story. My very strong and brave husband (who would NOT have been so had it been a snake!) got a broom and told me to do the same. We opened all the doors in the house and made our way to our visitor. That sucker took a flying leap from the curtain and landed a good ten feet away on my couch. Let me tell you, THAT'S WHERE I WAS STANDING, and I let out a holler like a woman giving birth to a ten pounder! Okay ladies. Now I can kind of see where you spaz out when you see sweat bees and ants. I'm beggining to relate.

About this time, Elizabeth is hiding behind Mallory, using her as a human shield. Ross and Drew are running around with excitement, Edward is taking charge, and I'm beginning to laugh like a crazy woman. So about this time, I'm thinking, "BLOG. Gotta get some pictures." Out comes the trusty camera. I also pulled out the video camera because I'm thinking this little buggar just might win us $10,000!" So, I make Edward stop every few seconds so I can get just the right shot. I know! Pretty smart of me!

Anyway, Mr. Squirrell jumps from one room to the next. Then where does he go? Upstairs! That's where our bedrooms are! Luckily, all the doors were shut, so he comes right back down. He was like a pinball, pinging from room to room, under couches and tables, up on curtain rods, behind the furniture. Finally, I saw him run away, and we think he ran out the back door. After much searching, we never found him. But, we did find my cell phone that has been lost for two weeks! Hooray! Something good DID come out of this craziness.

Now, like I said, we are pretty sure he ran out the back door. No one actually saw him do it, but we couldn't find him any where. Wouldn't it be something if he's just been hiding all this time and comes to snuggle up in bed with us tonight?

And, while all of this was going on, Drew kept saying, "THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!"
And Ross suggested that we mount it. He said we could let Stella (our puppy) take care of the squirrell. Then we could chop it's head off, put it on a board, and hang it on the wall.

Oh, only at our house!