Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Parental Warning Advisory

I feel it is my civic duty as an upstanding citizen of this country and as a loving mother of four to warn you, my wonderful readers, of a very inappropriate product that is out on the market. This product is causing much trouble and heartache. This horrific product of which I speak is called Moon Sand.

Several years ago I bought into the hype of this cursed product and bought it for Drew for his birthday. I naively believed the claims that it was "mess free." I don't think they use that claim any more in their marketing because I believe they were probably sued for false advertising. I believe the makers of Moon Sand also probably helped create Anthrax. I look at both as being equally dangerous when put into the wrong hands. What sane adult would say, "Hey Herb. Let's create soft, colorful sand that can be played with indoors." "Great idea, Frank!"

After Drew has begged me for several months to play with it, I finally relented today. I quickly remembered why it has been locked away in a high shelf for several years. It is an awful, awful thing. When I finished cleaning up after Drew and Mallory today, I headed for the trash can. Then I thought, "Drew will be in tears." So either I'm going to require that it only be played with outside, or I'm going to offer him money in return for the blasted stuff.

So consider yourselves warned. And I'm sorry if I bought Moon Sand for your child as a gift in the past. Either that or I really didn't like you.