Sunday, July 13, 2008

I'll Take Two, Mr. Ronco!

Thanks to the hiatus from our school schedule this summer, my quest to find a peaceful moment to myself often extends well into the wee hours of morning. During the school year, my bed time is often midnight. This summer it has been more like 1:00 to 2:00 a.m. I've always been a night owl, and have never really enjoyed waking in the early morning hours (Who am I kidding? I consider anything before 9:00 a.m. to be early. Do I usually get up before then? Almost always) . "Early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise." Thank goodness I'm not a man, because I would definitely be unhealthy, unwealthy, and unwise! While I bask in my quiet midnight solitude, I can usually be found working on household or crafting projects, reading, on the computer, or catching up on some t.v. I've decided that it's a good thing I don't have a credit card handy while watching late-night t.v. Why? Those ridiculous infomercials really have me wanting their products?
I want a Magic Bullet! Why, if I had one, I could have my family's dinner made in MERE SECONDS instead of an hour!
I'd love The Juicer! If I had one, I could serve my family nutritious kale/beet/lima bean beverages to go along with their meals!
I really want The Clapper! It would certainly make all those awakening-from-deep-sleep-to-go-with-children-on-bathroom/drink-trips a whole lot easier!
To tell the truth, I really do want one of those ShamWow's. It probably could soak up the Mississippi River with just one swipe! That baby would definitely get some good use in a house full of monkeys!
I'm really thinking I could make an extra $208,947 this year if I just follow Carlton Sheet's advice!
Those Kinoki Detox Foot Pads really look like a rad deal! All I have to do is slap those suckers on my bare feet when I sleep, and when I wake up, Viola! Toxins Be Gone!
And who could forget Ronco's Spray On Hair! Doesn't every man want to spray paint his bald spot to match his hair color?

Sign me up people! I want to get while the gettin's good!