Tuesday, May 27, 2008

"Great" clips

My brother-in-law, Nick, inspired this post. Thanks, Nick!
Last weekend, when the Great Felker Migration took place for Mary Caroline's wedding, Nick showed us his new haircut. He revealed it to me inside the temple, right before the ceremony. Because we want to be reverent inside the temple, I had to muster every ounce of self-control I had not to yell/laugh hysterically. When I get tickled about something, it is very hard for me to laugh quietly.
This is what he showed me:
It was all I could do to keep from bustin' a gut and rolling on the floor! I asked him not to sit in front of me during the wedding ceremony because I wouldn't have been able to control myself.
Apparently, he had asked my sister-in-law, Colton, to give him a haircut. She forgot to put the guard on, and this is what ensued.
Nick was SUCH a good sport about all the laughter at his expense. In fact, he waited to show his hair to us before going to have it taken care of professionally. Between the wedding and the reception, he got a haircut and the problem was solved.
Oh, thanks for the laughter, Nick!!!! It brought back an infamous memory in our family.
I have always been Edward's personal barber. Since we've been married, he has never been to the barber shop. In fact, he brought along his clippers to our honeymoon, and asked me to cut his hair. I was SCARED TO DEATH. I had never done it before. He certainly put a lot of faith in his new bride! All went well...that time.
Fast forward about a year-and-a-half later. It was Christmas time, and we were visiting at my parents' house. I was just barely pregnant with Ross and feeling quite green. Edward asked me for a haircut, and I told him I would right after I took a nap. He had everything all set up for me when I awoke a while later. I stumbled into the kitchen, apparently still half-asleep. I turned on the clippers and took a swipe right up the middle. I suddenly turned off the clippers, my eyes wide. I gasped loudly and covered my mouth. Edward very calmly said, "You forgot to put the guard on, didn't you." I immediately began crying (and I'm not a crier) because I felt so horrible. It was pretty bad. My dad had been sitting watching the whole chaotic scene unfold. He had to run out of the room so he didn't burst into laughter.
The next thing I know family members are assembling to assess the damage as my skunk-headed husband is trying to comfort me. Man, he's an amazing guy! The rest of the family were gawking in stunned silence, trying not to make the situation worse.
Edward just kept saying, "It's only hair. It will grow back." How many of us could say that?! Not many. We finally were able to laugh about it. In all my life, I've never seen my dad laugh so hard, and that is not an exaggeration. For the rest of our visit, which was several days longer, my dad couldn't look at Edward without laughing.
For about a week or two, I colored Edward's bald strip in each day with my eye-liner. In fact, the day that it happened we were headed over to my Great Grandma's for Christmas Eve. We joked that he had to remember not to put his head back on her couch, or she would have a brown strip.
When we left to go visit his family a few days later, he had me write "Merry Christmas" in red and green marker in his bald strip. Mary Caroline was about 10 years old at the time. When she saw it, she said with a straight face, "Mom's gonna kill you."
And now, without further ado:

This photo has not been doctored at all!
*After a couple of my recent posts, either you will see what a kind soul Edward is, or you will think I'm one cruel lady for the things I laugh at my husband about!



Consider yourselves warned!

Why do kids put gross things in their mouths? At Ross' baseball game Friday night, I think three little girls came up to me at three different times to tell me Drew was eating dirt. For Pete's Sake, why?! I'm sure dirt doesn't taste good! The crazy little guy had a thin blackish/brown ring around his mouth for the rest of the evening.

Later, just before it was time to leave, Drew was playing underneath the bleachers. I noticed he was stooped down and still. We parents know to check on our children when it is too quiet. Upon further inspection, he was eating ABC sunflower seeds. For those of you not in the know ABC stands for ALREADY BEEN CHEWED!!!!!! UGH! He was eating other peoples' spat-out sunflower seeds. What's even worse, when I calmly (okay, okay - hysterically) told him to get those out of his mouth and explained what they were, he just giggled and CONTINUED eating them. YUCK!!!!

Later when we discussed this, the big kids wanted to know what the grossest things were they've had in their mouths as babies. For a one year-old Ross, it was a cigarette butt I fished from his mouth while we were swimming at a public pool. For Mallory, it was the time I found her chewing on Drew's booger that he fed her when she was about 6 months old.
Elizabeth's was by far the worst. I still get a little throw-up in my mouth when I think of it. While shopping in a thrift store when she was one, I pulled out of her mouth a used band-aid. OHHHH!!!!

Why, oh, why people!?!