Tuesday, March 25, 2008

I quit!

Do you ever have one of those days at work where NOTHING seems to go right? That's how I felt at my job today. The majority of the day was wonderful. The weather was great, so I decided to put Drew and Mallory in the double stroller and walk to get the big kids from school. It's only about a mile and a half round trip. Great! That went smoothly enough.

As soon as we got home, the kids got a snack and then headed outside to enjoy the beautiful day. Elizabeth came back in and changed into something cooler because she was hot. That's pretty normal for her. Ross changed into junk clothes because he was going to practice "sliding" for baseball. Fine. Then Drew went up to his room for a LONG time and came back down wearing his same clothes. Still fine. After a while, Ross came in and asked if they could play in the sprinkler. The high today was 64 degrees. I suppose it felt like a tropical day to them because of our crazy winter. I said, "NOOOOOO WAY?" I did tell him thanks for asking, though, and not just going ahead anyway. He told me Elizabeth didn't want him to ask. I gave them a lecture about what they could and could not do outside, with strict instructions not to play in the water. Elizabeth asked if they could play in the grass. That should have been a red flag to me because they always play in the grass. I didn't think any thing of it and told them they could.

So I had just laid Mallory down for a nap and was straightening up the house. I heard some playful screams outside and again didn't think anything of it. After a bit it dawned on my to go check on them to make sure they were following my rules. Knowing my children, can you imagine what I saw when I peeked out the window? Ross had his shirt off and baseball pants on and was indeed playing baseball. Elizabeth was in her swimming suit, holding the hose and spraying a swim suit clad Drew. Again, it was 64 degrees. You know hose water is freezing in 94 degree weather!

I opened the dining room door, and from inside I screamed at her to "stop this instant." She turned to look at me, smiled, hesitated for a moment and then proceeded to blast me INSIDE THE HOUSE!!!! I quickly turned and shut the door. I was so shocked at what had just happened that it took me a moment to move. I opened the door to try to talk to her again, and the same thing happened. I was able to yell to Ross to turn off the water. She then turned and blasted him. I made a dash to get the hose away from her as she turned her attention to my decoy, but she's a fast one. In between my hiding in the house, I was yelling every threat to her that I thought would get her to stop. Nothing. I told her her Easter candy was gone and it was all mine. With joy she yelled, "I don't care!" and then stuck her tongue out at me. MY BLOOD WAS BOILING and there was nothing I could do!

At that time, I got a phone call from Ross' coach telling me that because it was such a nice day, they would be having practice outside instead of in, and that it would start at 5:00. The current time was 4:07. I was thinking, "Great! You have NO idea what is going on here. I have to rectify this situation, get the kids cleaned up, wake up Mallory, and have him there in less than an hour. No problem!"

I then called Edward to tell him about practice and about the watery standoff that was taking place in our backyard. He told me as long as she wasn't hurting anyone, let her continue and he would take care of it when he got home. While on the phone with him, I peeked out and saw Drew with his trunks at his ankles taking a leak in a huge puddle. I know our neighbors are so glad to have us in the neighborhood. So I ignored her for about 5 minutes. When I checked on her again, part of the backyard looked like a flood, and I couldn't sit by and watch her destroy it. She had dropped the hose, so I made my move. I got to the faucet and tried to unscrew it, but the darn thing wouldn't move. Of course! By that time she was on to me again. I ran into the garage and got a wrench. I waited for her to let go of the hose, and she did. I felt like I was in combat. I got over to the faucet and began unscrewing it. While I was doing that she came up and wiped mud on my shirt, laughing all the time. I honestly think steam was blowing out of my ears. I told her to park her heine on the bench immediately, to which she replied, "NO!" She then skipped down to the trampoline and started bouncing away. I honestly didn't know if any neighbors were taking this in, so I decided to wait a few seconds before approaching her for fear the authorities would be called.

When I got to the trampoline, I told her I would have to call the police - maybe she would be willing to listen to them since she wasn't obeying me. That finally worked. At that point she did what she was told and began cleaning up.

I'll spare the rest of the details, but we made it to baseball practice only 10 minutes late. At the ball field, there is a large dirt mound. I told Elizabeth & Drew not to play in it. Apparently the last hour didn't make any impact to her because she went there immediately. Drew on the other hand just milled around it. I honestly didn't have the energy to deal with her, so I just left her alone and was going to let her dad handle it when he got there. After about 10 minutes, the temptation got the best of Drew and he was in. I waited about 3 minutes, packed up the diaper bag, stroller, and Mallory and headed over there to tell them we were leaving and Ross would have to be picked up later. As I was telling them we were done, Drew tripped and skidded down the dirt hill and landed in a large mud puddle. As he tried to stand up, he lost his balance and fell back into it. He was covered front and back. At that point, all I could do was cover my face and laugh. What else could I do? He got to ride home in his underwear, and all three had baths before 6:00.

Back to Elizabeth - how do you punish such blatant disrespect? She never does these things to her Dad. I honestly feel like why do I even bother trying to mother her. When Edward got home he talked to her, and she cleaned the house and did chores until bedtime. With as much work as she did we need to start calling her "Cinderella."

If I worked at an actual 9:00 to 5:00 job, I would have definitely quit today. Can you blame me?

Sleep tight!

On Sunday night, Drew asked if Ross could come down and sleep with him in his bed. We agreed because we didn't have school the next morning. About a half an hour later, Drew came back downstairs and told me Ross was crowding him (that's kind of what you get when you share a twin bed!). I just told him to either lay right next to him or climb up to his bed. Several hours later when I went to bed I found this scene:

It cracked me up! The next morning he told me he just stood up and put his head on his pillow and fell asleep because he didn't have any room in his bed. How is that possible?!

Easter with the Felkers